Teenage Drama.

So this evening there has been a lot of drama. I guess in many ways i cause it - although unintentionally. we went for dinner and jodie was quieter than usual, so once we parted ways i called jodie to see if she was alright. turns out she was in a mood because debs seemed off with her. she texted debs, and got me involved...and it's just fucking teenage drama about shit.

cannot handle such things.

cannot handle people who need this drama in their life.

just stop it. if you out this much effort into something else, you would be good at something

p.s still havent ordered my shoes.

but i want them

and ive got the money...

mann i wish i wasnt so tight.

I can safely say that last night and today are the most painful hours of my life so far. Hannah is missing, car is found crashed, possibly prison sentence.

I want to talk to Chris, but he told me not to bother him.

I have work 3 hours and I really don't want to go- there are more important things in life right now.

HE FUCKED ME AND LEFT ME.

END OF.

AND IM LEFT HERE CRYING; HATING MYSELF; HATING LIFE.

this is what i believe so i dont know what im doing with chris; ex chris, chris i often cant stand. but i want someone to be there for me, to hug me, to take me out and sleep next to me, even if he is going to cheat...surely a cheater is better than no-one..right?

mannn my head is so fucked right now.

i murder joy.

apparently i suck the life out of everything. awesome. absolutely awesome. ohh, and i am back with chris. but he is flirting with some girl over facebook. they went to the cinema. they might as well just shove my face in it and cheat on me. i seriously hate me life today; i just want to curl up in a ball and never resurface. and tonight was just as rubbish- jodie drama as usual.

i just want to leave.

i want to not be dependent on chris, i want to not want to check his facebook for signs of cheating with that girl.

i want to be happy and not ruin every fun occasion.

butttt

what can i do? just leave and go to america? ... well that is what summer is for hopefully.

just scrolled down- my life is deffoo not back on track.

i need to get drunk and spend money i dont have on shoes i dont need to make me feel better.

i have hit an all time low, crying over the boy i didnt want. who treated me well-- and who has found someone better.

what is my life?