Lifeeee

So...i guess everything has been a bit hectic really. Me and Chris are deffo over. I've got a job in america for summer! Bring on MA and Cape Cod! Mannn i really wanna get a tan (:

Been to bourneymouth today and yesterday, so nice just hanging with han on the beach not giving a fuck about my essays and work and shizzleee...but now it's back to reality i guess, and i hate that.

I also hate that i am single, i know i shouldnt rely on someone else to make me happy, but in all honesty, i miss the company and having someone to hug and night and talk to about everything.

There is so much shit in my life that no-one wants to know, and i can just ramble to a boyfriend because it's someone i can open up to and be vulnerable with. I guess i just miss it all y'know, that feeling you get...

ohh well.

And one tree hill is nearly over...not sure how im going to cope with everything, just feel like everything and everyone i used to rely on for happiness is disappearing all at once.

Science Museum

Today me and debs went to the science museum (:

This was a fun outing. We had planned a trip to the new forest, but it rained and then later on snowed, so we postponed that and went to the science museum instead!

It was fun. I got to feel like a child again, and for a few hours forget about the adult world that I now live in.

But, im worried about her - she has been thinking about self harm; and I don't know what to suggest.

I like that she is open about it, but i honestly don't know what to say. It's hard without knowing what is making her so upset. It must be hard to put on this happy, brave face everyday (i should know, brief period of self harm in year 9&10 when my parents split up etccc. but i knew the problem, and that it would take time, but debs claims to not know the reason...)

really don't know how to deal with this, i suggested counselling but didnt get text back...and i find these things so awkward to talk about aswell.

Just gonna make sure she know's im here for her innit...

Hannah has court thursday..mann so many people in my life with issue right now. But in a way that helps me take my mind of the possibility that i do actually love chris, but will loose him, because of what i plan to do with my summer...ahh well!

Crackin' on and working through maa to-do list, so much uni work atm :(

my shoes should arrive soon, which will make me happy! - will post a picture, pure awesomeness.

My life currently is not good- literally dont know what to do. I hardly eat anymore; and i run every day. I look in the mirror and i just see fat, like everywhere. But everyone's has more important things to deal with right now. Imma just stay to eating cereal, banana and bagel and see if that helps (hopefully it will) and imma buy loadss of fruit from sainssb' tomozza before hitting porthouse with jodie (:

nighttt

In such a good mood about life right now- finished science fiction essay, working on my presentation, and generally good mood because I have realised I get to fuck off from this world and go to amezz in the summer. I want to get away from my mum, she only wants me for money and to get dirt on hannah's life (who by the way has to go to court on thursday) and i'm just gonna ignore her- dont have to see her for a month now! and i just wannna do my work, go to work and fuckk everything else. Life is for having fun, and i just might do that! (:

Ohhh and chris called me pretty earlier...

• Have fun in life--smile and think of how lucky you are every day. Do not lose myself to the world, when I forget who I am and where I want to be in life, go to tumblr.

this was one of my objectives for the year of 2012; i lost sight for a while, but now im backkk babyyyyy