For some reason, lately, i have been struggling to find a reason to smile. I am letting bad thoughts run through my head, breaking down in tears, missing Chris. He is really the only person (bar hannah) who i have ever opened up to about my life before; and im really struggling knowing that i can't turn to him for a hug or a chat at whatever time of day. Yes i know we we horrible as boyfriend and girlfriend now, but when we first ended, he made it clear he would still do anything for me - but lately this has changed; and i'm not coping so well. I need someone to just talk to sometimes and i really don't know who that can or is going to be...
Guess to be fair; thats what this blog is for, to vent my emotions when no-one is there, and i imagine i will be relying on it a whole lot more now.
I can't put my finger on why, but every smile i make is forced, and every morning i just want to wake up and go back to bed and not face the day. My university work has taken a backseat in life and i just dont care about it anymore. I just want a change of scenery, a change of place. I want to get far away where i can not face the day or anyone i know.... bring on summer?
I guess this week the phrase "i'm fine" is about to be over-used to the maximum.
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