drifting

I have been avoiding hanging out with debs and tyler when they are together because for some reason i find it really uncomfortable to be around them. I think it's because i don't see the point in 'flings' and this is essentially a two week fling. It annoys me to see people messing around, kissing and being in a relationship isn't something to be fucking around with--you should be together and be in a relationship or not at all. I guess this opinion comes from the break up of my parents, which i believe was down to my mum having a 'fling', from them on i just hate the idea of it. I have been trying not to make my feelings to clear, but i guess it was obvious today when i said i would go to the gym and not hang out. I didn't hang out, and im sure debs is pissed because of this, she thinks we are 'drifting' but we are not. I still like both of them, i just can't be around that, but of course, they don't know why. At thanksgiving it was awkward, but i thought it would improve because maybe i was just jealous, but it hasn't and im not jealous.

sometimes, i hate my beliefs.